the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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