when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
