A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just blew my weed a kiss
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
