We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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