He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
