We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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