Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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