Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
