Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
