I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize