You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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