anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
