She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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