Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
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I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
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Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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