It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
