Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
