please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
