Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
you never un-have a 4some
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
