She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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