My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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