she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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