Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
