'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
ttyl tear gas
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
