Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
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I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
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No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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