He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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