There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
