Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
