i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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