Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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