Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize