We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
