Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
