Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
