So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I need moral support for this bender
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
