I'm laying in your front yard are you home
wat bout pragnant strippers??
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
