if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
try to milk me bitch
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