are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
