First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
