I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
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If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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