no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
