I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize