No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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