Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize