Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
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I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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