If that was your dad, he is hot
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
