I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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