I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
