Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
