I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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