Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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