Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
