her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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