so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
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I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
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Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize