Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
