sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
