My liver just broke up with me...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
