my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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