it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize