Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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