Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
drinking out of a sandbucket again
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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