shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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