Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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