..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
