It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
