david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
